Inertia: Caught

The name's Inertia I'm a clone of Bart Allen. Our grandad used me as a weapon against him. I freaked out when I saw how Max Mercury and Bart acted toward each other . For a while there I just wandered aimlessly. Until The Crisis frakked up the Speed Force.

Which is why I ended up in Titans East. Deathstroke had a drug that gave me my speed back. I ended up being dependent on the guy. After Titans East was defeated, Slade told me I should forget about Sun Girl, and hook up with the Rouges. That didn't work out so well.

All they do is take drugs, and have skanks strip for them. Besides I can do without Mirror Master and Piper constantly sniping at each other. Then I somehow got my connection to the Speed Force back. So I ditched the Rouges. Wandered round a bit. Found that hot hot blue haired girl who me and Bart chased to win that race a while back. ( You cheated and you know it Kid Flash!)

I thought" Hey she has super speed and acts smart why not try and hook up? " You know I was little surprised when I heard her name was "Vella" the saiyans in the 31th century have a Queen Vella. Which really weirded me out. Since she's so friendly with Miss Martian . in my time Queen Vella nearly killed M'gann during the war with the Martians.

Huh. The queen in my time is likely this Vella's granddaughter or something. So I meet up with the 21st Century Vella at the coronation of Vegeta. Weird seeing history. Veg built an empire and held it together for centuries. Until he disappeared. You know the saiyans still think the guy is alive in the future ,and will come back when they need him. Like he's King Arthur or something.

So me trying to get some tail (pun intended.)gets me drafted in a superhero team. Well I stayed because I wanted to fight Bart and humiliate him in front of his Titans and maybe get a little revenge. The didn't even fight the Titans. oh well hanging out with these guys is more fun than the Rouges or Titans East.

Even with Vincent wanting my blood. Hell even a former Titan East is here as well. Batgirl. She's not rubbing every guy on the chest like she was in In our old team , but she's not as crazy either. I don't know what that stuff that Deathstroke gave her was, but I don't want any.

off the drug. she's pretty quiet, and stays to herself. unless she's making out with Vince. It got so annoying one day I ran 10 years into the future just so I can see how they broke up instead
I find this.




She was calling him her Prince. But yeah that is defiantly a 20 something Cassandra Cain, and Vincent Briefs. That creeped me out. But now that I think about it The Saiyan black ops in the future Are called "The Children of Cain". And they are supposed to be the most feared fighters in the Universe. Many think that they are descended from Cabain Reaper. I'm beginning to think "Cain" isn't their ancestor's first name. But a last name .

So I come back to see Vella talking to Bart about something. I was mad and didn't see the ninja that smacked me in the back of the head.

I lost consciousness. and regained it a couple of times.One time A ninja reported to a hot looking babe that he got me the babe was fighting Batgirl until some weird freak knocked down Vince. Cass abandons the fight with the lady in red to check on her "boy."


I pass out again. when I wake up I see Tony" Stab people in the back for fun" Stark. he's grinning at me. " Hello Inertia I hope Elektra didn't hurt you too much bringing you here."

" What do you want with me Iron Tyrant?" I ask.


" Oh nothing we're just going to do some tests."

I don't like the sound of that.

? : And it begins.

Batgirl is way too skilled for me to even begin to teach Martial Arts In fact she can teach me a few things. But strategy Well I can teach her that. The two saiyans Are like little sponges. Learning comes easy for them.


I suspect they both have photographic memories. Not sure if that's a saiyan power or not. Why not They seem to have super everything else. Inertia I don't trust as far as I can throw him. Now here comes the big Question. How does Spoiler fit in?

I must admit she's tougher than I first gave her credit for. While training her she actually confronted me. " Why are you such a jerk to me?"

" Why do you want to do this work?" I ask.

" What do you mean?" She questions.

" You started out as a girl who wanted to stop daddy from from doing bad things. You went then to be Robin's girlfriend then to be Robin. Then you screwed up, and died, taking many innocent people with you."

She glares and shouts "bastard!" Surprising me with a wicked straight kick to the jaw.

" So. You finally show a little guilt. Those people's deaths should be like an albatross on your neck. Now Here comes the biggest question I want you to think about it for some time. Who are you? "

" What?" She shouts.

" Someone once asked me that years ago. I want you to think about that. Just who are you?"

" God I think I liked the the crackpot theories better than this. " She sighs. " is proving to Batman he was wrong and wanting make up for past mistakes enough for you?"

" That's just saying what you want to do not who you are. " Think about that later. We have to go on our first mission."


Later at a ware house where Black Plague, is storing weapons to be sold to AIM, HYDRA, and others.

Batgirl looks up to me. " What's the.. um plan. "

" Good Question. Your their leader. You make the plan."


After scouting out the situation she comes back with. "Vincent... Vella You two attack the ... ent.. ent.. Front door. All the demons.. and super powers.. will go after you. Spoiler.. come with me we get to the computer.. and get the info.. "

"What about me Bat Babe?" Inertia grins.

Batgirl sighs. " Your fast enough... to watch all of our backs. "

" Yeah Vella, Spoiler, and your backs look pretty good. Sorry Vinnie boy but your not my type."

Cass glares. " If he gets hurt. I hurt you."

" Hey don't be mad at me that he stopped looking for his armor, and didn't find you waiting for him, I mean it's not my fault. He's dumb."

" What ?" Vincent yells.

" Never mind.. Let's go.Baby... Don't kill the humans or super powered people. "Batgirl orders.

" What about the demons?" Vince Queries.

" Be as ...destructive.. as you want with them. Go on ahead of us. "

I watch as the kids Start fighting the demons etc. And Batgirl, and Spoiler sneak in to using the noisy super fight as cover. So do I I Take a look at the weapons while dodging some super powered thug. That Vella knocked my way.

The weapons look familiar. I take pictures of them, And move on. I watch as Spoiler and Batgirl defeat a bunch of non powered gangsters through stealth, then they have to team up to beat some clumsy idiot with super strength.

Mean while a gangster escapes, and I follow. He starts yelling into a communicator thing I put on my psuedoderm mask and release the adhesive gas.



I interrupt him as he says. "Answer?"

" I think you have me confused with someone else. " I quip before knocking him out, then Something happens that proves one of the cases I've been investigating the thug turns into a Skrull. So they are back just like I thought. I confiscate his communicator and am almost crushed by a demon fighting with Vincent.


" I will eat your soul!" It boasts.


" Eat this! Galick Gun!" I shield my eyes from the bright light. After I see the creature is evaporated. I follow up on the kids at the computer. Spoiler yells frustrated " I can't find anything, We need one of the twins to hack this thing. "


" Maybe you haven't asked the right Questions." I Hack Into it and find more than really should be in it. Many locations of Black Plague's network, But I hear sirens coming from the distance so I just copy it all to a disk,and leave.


The kids turn over the crooks to the police, and I have enough evidence to keep investigating Plague.They all succeeded in their first battle . So there's only onre thing to do after they finish with their interviews from the press."Let's get some ice cream!" They all cheer. " Just not at Baskin Robbins They have a 32nd flavor they are holding back for an unknown reason."

Later after the celebration Vella , and Vincent. Go over the designs of one of the weapons I um liberated. " Weird it looks like it was designed by Tony Stark. " Vincent declares. Good I finally have that jerk


" Well Vince I don't know... " Vella mumbles . " It's like it started off at the same place as Stark's but then went on to do it's own thing."

Huh. I love a good mystery. After every thing settles down Vincent, Is Sleeping on the couch, and Cassandra is sitting by him, Vella decides to eradicates some zombies outside. I'm not sure where Inertia is. So I try to see how all these threads connect Black Plague, Skrulls, Stark tech , but not quite.

As I'm trying to get a pattern of some kind of logic. Stephanie Gets in my face. "Want to know who I am?"

Before she says anything this idiot jumps into the room " I am the champion of Justice I am he who does not allow evil I am the Great Saiyaman!"




" Ok. Who ordered the clown?" I demand.

" Clown?" The guy whines.

At this moment a bunch of ninja break in through the door. , and Elektra walks in " Where's Inertia? "


" If you want him you can have him." Vincent snorts.

" Vince!" Cassandra yells. " If ... you want him Elektra you ... have to go through us."

" Oh I will If I have too Cain. "Elektra Grins. And the two start fighting. Oh Boy . I shouldn't be looking at The Hand's leader the way I am should I?

Batgirl: Sometimes a Question lies.

So .. is this recording , writing machine working?... good. Ok. The whole time Question.. was talking to Batman... I could tell one thing... He was lying. He didn't believe a word.. he said.. about the Titans ... attacking.

I Could.. tell by .. his body language. And .. I thought I saw him.. um smirk? yes that's the word. Under the mask. Though.. I'm still mad at Robin... I knew he wouldn't do attack like an um villain.

I let Victor train Spoiler,... because she needs it. then after she limped away her holding her arm.... I Comfort? no that's not con...confront the Question.

" Your.. lying."


"That obvious huh?" He laughs.

I look at him, "Vella could tell also.... She said your heart beat louder the whole time... and your body.. language told me. Take off the mask Vic."

" So you'd rather talk to Vic Sage than the Question huh? Ok, but I have to talk to Cassandra Cain."

I take off my mask, and he sprays some .. gas on his , and it falls off. " Pseudo derm you should think about about getting yourself some. " He says.

" Why are you lying.. to my team?"

" Did you know saiyans despite their stand offishness are rather social animals?"

I got mad again. " My Boy... is not an animal."

" We're all animals, doesn't mean we have to act like it. " He answers. " But anyway from what the info I was able to dig up, They get mad if you attack a member of the group they put themselves in they go all crazy, wanting vengeance and the like."

" Ok..." I start.

" well if I didn't go through the performance and start training them , the prince and princess may have decided to attack Titan's Tower Or Robin. Me giving them something to do took their minds off of that. "

" Did.. Nightwing help you come up with this?"

He grins. "He may have had some input. "

" Ok, Why.. train.. Steph.. so hard?"

" It's obvious the kid needs it, if it gets too hard for her, she can find a different career, but until then I don't want her killing herself again. "

He's right.

" What about.. Inertia.. he was a member of Titans.. East.. with Deathstroke. "

" So were you." He says.

I grab him by his tie. "Not.. my choice."

" I know. You can let go now, the problem is he keeps hanging around Vella. So if he's going to keep doing that, well I want him were I can see him. Doesn't mean I trust him, just means if he does betray us, well I want us to stomp him good, Now call all the other kiddies in here. "

After I do... he sets us all around a table, " Ok boys, and girls, truth time, The Titans weren't going to attack, but I wanted to see what you all had. "

" Man I wanted to bust Bart allen a new one!" Inertia shouts.

" In a way I'm glad." Vincent mumbles under his breathe where only I can hear him. " If it wasn't for Robin, we'd never had met, though I wouldn't mind proving my superiority over Kon-El."


" So we're just going to let Tim get away with hitting me? , And taking my belt?" Steph protests.

" We have better ways to spend our time. " Vic states. " West City is held in the grip of the crime lord know as Black Plague. What we're going to do is bring to Justice, but we need evidence. You kids also need a leader, You see I'm just your teacher, but for field work you need someone to direct you, and that'll be the one with the most experience here. Cassandra.

" What me? " I ask.

All the others nod.... Me? Vince grins. " your perfect babe, hay you lead the League of Assassins , but um lead us without trying to bring us down from the inside ok?"

" Ok kids one last test. " Question comes out with two guns. And shoots at us. I dodge the bullets,


Vincent catches others.. Inertia runs out of the way.. and laughs. Steph dodges one, and is hit in shoulder by another, that suit made out of the same .. stuff as Vincent.. and Vella's ... um body armor makes sure it doesn't hurt her that bad.
Vella grabs Question.

" What are you trying to do?" She yells.

" Making sure your ready, and you are."

" You shot me!" Spoiler screams.

" You dodged out of the way of the fatal shot. Your ready now as well."

" It stings you jerk! If I wasn't wearing this costume I'd be bleeding!"

" I wasn't playing, and neither will Black Plague or his men, but the good news is your all ready to take him, first step we get evidence. Rest up we're going to inoculate a Plague. "


I think... Question.. maybe crazy

Spoiler: It's good being alive

I know, I know everyone's all po'ed That Cass brought me back. Me I'm sooo happy. I don't remember much about it, but I know I hated it. I know I've been bugging Conner Since I came back, constantly calling him, but um he went through what I went through.

I hope I haven't angered Wonder Girl, I mean I'm not interested in him in that way, ok Maybe I might be if he wasn't Tim's best friend, and taken. But if He ever breaks up with Wonder Girl, well, never mind That's just be be a little lonely watching Batgirl and her boy alien constantly making out.

I have to say I don't like Vincent much. I mean I did when I met him the first time. I thought it was great That Cassandra was with some guy who wasn't Zero. ( That guy was so gross.) But then Super girl had to run around saying she screwed Vincent.


Cass was so well distraught. I told her to dump the jerk. She said she was going to hurt him, and well .. then Black Mask.. I don't want to talk about that. But anyway, next thing I know, I'm back to life, and I know I missed a whole bunch here, But Cass and prince O' monkeys are back to being an item, and when ever I talk to her, she just says " He didn't ... know what he was doing."

Yeah I believe that, not. He 's just like all guys wanted his cake and eat it too, and why with the slut of the universe is beyond me. But she forgave him, and well I guess I'm still mad because I saw something because of him, I hardly ever saw Batgirl cry.


If he does it again, he's going to wake up one day missing something, and I don't mean his tail. But his twin sister is the nicest person I've ever met. And nothing seems to phase her. I mean another freaking zombie popped up in the rubble of the old house that used to be here.



She just laughs at it and blasts the weirdo. Oh and she built me the coolest video game system, It makes the Wii look like an Atari 2600 that Batman hides in his cave. We all know about it Bats And you'll have to upgrade one day.

After the Destructo Twins go home It's creepy quiet around here. Because Cass goes to hide in that cave of hers, and when Vella's gone, Inertia stops sneaking around. And I think my imagination has gotten the better of me. Because when I was calling Oracle, about my mom, I looked out the window and I swear I saw this guy with a trench coat, and fedora Outside , and he had no face!

I was so scared I slept with my utility belt right near my bed, I woke up the next morning to Oracle saying My Mom is still nowhere to be found. Damn! So I decided to do what I do when I'm depressed, first I made sure Cass was no where around, Nope still down in her cave, I'm curious to know what so interesting down there, but I was punched in the face by her enough when I was alive the first time .

Though she hasn't hit me once since I came back. And the one time we sparred she went used kid gloves. But anyway better not to tempt fate, And I turned on that music from that Tom Cruise movie "Risky Business" Long before he went crazy I hear , and I did that dance in my in a shirt , and shorts like that, and then as I was sliding across the floor, Nightwing , and Tim come in. Yes I was shocked, and embarrassed that I do that when I'm alone.

But worse than that, No one locks the door around here? I mean there are faceless freaks hanging around outside. Tim stares at me as I run to hide in room from embarrasment.

When I finally come out better dressed Tim stares at me Like I'm a ghost, I guess to him I am. " Uh Hey." I finally say.


He just keeps staring making very uncomforatble.

Vince Briefs: So we're going to do this huh?

I don't know about this team thing,but well I 've been fighting bad guys here anyway so why not? That I and I have to get Stephanie Brown out of my house. This morning she took the toy surprise from the cereal spilled glue in my hair, and just made herself an annoyance to me. But she gets a long with Vella famously.


Arrgh! That and the whole stress of which one of us boys My Dad is going to pick to be the Prince of all Saiyans, not just a prince kinda gettin' to me. I mean I figure it's really between me, Trunks, and Mirai, since Dad and Cabain go weeks without talking to each other. That and I think personally Dad may want to pick one of Mom's kids.


Well I got out of the house, to pick up Cass from her reading lesson with Raven.

On the way home she's petty much clutching clutching me and keeping her head on my chest. Then finally she smiles and says. " I can spell your name now. Well the 'Vince' part."

" That's great." I grin. So this evening We end up house hunting, for well I guess a Headquarters, And we go with Trunks. Cass is a little uncomfortable around him, but Steph keeps talking to him ,and staying as close as possible. Ugh! What is it with that guy and women.


The first place we found was ugly and calling it a fixer upper would be well charitable.


Trunks Sighs. " What was the real estate agent on crack? This place is awful and Is that a zombie wandering around? " He blasts it.

" Your so strong." Stephanie sighs.

Vella Yells . " One that's my brother, and two he's he' really old.

" Hey! I'm in my twenties!" Trunks protests.


" I mean too old for her." Vella corrects.

" Oh Yeah well your right there."

I look around, and see Cass is missing, yeah this conversation is pretty stupid. And Spoiler staring at my brother, drooling was making me sick. Ki sense is so cool, I find her hanging around a cave.




" This is.. great!" She happily runs around inside it." I can put my ...motorcycle here. My TV can go there. I need a shower put in...."

" Cass you want to live in a cave?" I ask.

" You bet your sweet bippy!" Ok maybe she's been watching her TV a little too much. " Can we get it? Please? "

" I guess." I shrug.

I talk to Trunks about buying the place. " You sure? This is place is a disaster."

" Yeah she likes the cave. " I tell tell him.

" Wait! " Steph shrieks. " This place is creepy! Man I'm going to get killed in the shower or something. The hot blonde always gets killed first in the horror movies!"

" Hot?" I snort. " Then you'll be fine."

" Bite me!" she sneers.

" Not for money." I Grin.

" Stop fighting!" Cass yells.

Trunks puts his cell phone back in his pocket. " Ok kiddies this place is yours it was pretty cheap ha! Wonder why. Except for you two Vincent, and Vella. Mom still wants you two to live at home. Oh I guess you can get a Capsule House for here.

" Woo hoo! we get to destroy the ugly house! " Vella shouts. " Hey Vince Wanna help me install some tech in into the Capsule house?"

" Only if you help me with some plumbing and air conditioning to make the Cass Cave livable."


" yay! project!"

"What can i do?" Inertia Shouts out of nowhere, why the Hell has he been hanging around Vella , No wait I know why and it pisses me off. " Get away from my sister!" I scream trying to catch that little bastard. Damn it even at SS2 I can't catch the punk!

When I get back Stephanie shakes her head. " You just can't get along with anybody can you?"


" I like him! " Cassandra smiles hugging me. " Well... more than like."


"I feel the same about you ." I say.

" Yuck! " Steph Spits. " I think I'd would have rather hung out with the zombie. And Trunks flew off so I'm uh going over there. To be away from Batgirl and monkey boy love fest. "


Well this is going to be interesting, I have to say, and annoying extremely annoying.