Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Inertia: the world is screwed up

What. The. Hell. I take one power nap, and I wake up in the Twilight Zone. Oracle is suddenly Batgirl an' leadin' this team Vincent has no idea who Cassandra Cain is.

I went into the future, and well it's unaffected. I still saw Cass as Batwoman leadin' more adult us. Sprok we're gonna be like the Nightwing Titans. Well maybe I should know alternate futures ain't always gonna happen.

Yup I had a freak out when I originally saw this turn of events. But now I 'm gonna act like I'm back to normal, and observe things. Oracle lectured us on this Villain. I ain't callin' her Batgirl I didn't go that far back in time.


No one seemed to be listenin'. Spoiler, and Vella were gossipin' Iron Lad fiddlin’ with some armor component. Vincent was on the phone with someone. At some point the red head gave up and said “Kids!"

So I just listened ... Spoiler 's datin' Super twerp? Conner? Bwhahahaha! There's gonna be some problems between Drake, and Kent when the Universe gets put back right.

If Tim Drake even exists in this reality because about fifteen minutes later Jason Picked up Vella, and he was Robin. He had a horrible costume that was a weird combo of The Robin, and Red Robin outfits.



He apparently lived through the Joker beating, and never stopped bein' Robin. Yet he's still datin' Vella, oddly he said the most stupid thing... “Spoiler you need let go of all that anger."

Well after that I had ta run away laughin' I find Supergirl arguin' with Vince. “Last night you yelled out some other girl's name!"

"I didn't mean it!" he protests.

“Yeah, it's obvious you want to be with this other girl whoever she is we're finished!”

I run up to the Demi Saiyan. “Don’t matter ya like 'im wit' a darker personality any way.”

“Not now Thad." Vince whines. “If only I'd stop having those dreams of some I dunno it sounds ridiculous."


“Lemme guess dark hair quiet, has a lotta scars."

“Oh Great you're a telepath now” he laughs bitterly.

“Naw Someone's been messin' wit reality; I'm not affected because I'm from the future. Your subconscious mind is remeberin' how things are supposed ta be."


"And people think Saiyans are weird." he laughs. “I think all that running has screwed up your head."


Before I can say anything else our communicators go off. “You’re all needed in the City looks like Destruction's Daughter is here after all."

We both look at each other “that’s the worst villain name ever” I laugh.

“Oh yeah like Inertia is great" he snorts.

Any way Babsie leads us to this Penthouse where a whole group. Of villains are gathered around. Some girl all in black looks us over. “This... City's protectors... So the Bat... clued you in to... my arrival. I'm taking over... you'll die."

That voice the body type the halting way of speaking? Oh no way somebody has a sick sense of humor. Man whoever did this reality switch better have their insurance paid up that's all I know?

Some loser Hulk Villain called Speed Freak tries to cut me with Adamantium blades.

“How are you faster than me? I cut the Hulk!" He snivels.

"Um I'm a lot faster than the Hulk loser." I taunt him for a little bit until his slowness bores me. Then I punch him in the face. Vella beat Moonstone, what's with all the Hulk enemies?

Spoiler fights with some dude called the Shredder. She ends up knocking' him out with a brick. Ironlad fought some Crimson Dynamo his out dated armor stalled on him, and he's well now a living statue. Poor Cold war armored guy.

Babs was knocked out in a minute by Destruction's daughter well I could a told her that would happen.


Spoiler leapt at her, Saying "no one hurts my mentor!" yeah poor Steph went down faster. Vella Flies up to her. “Look you can't win your power level is about eight. You're stronger than most humans but not by much."

“The strongest doesn't always win... the fight. She threw this powder in Vel's eyes... Sight she has a GL ring and can make a force feild but her pride didn't let her think a non powered human could do anything to her.


“Sneezing powder ... alien. Can't concentrate on your powers or ring she takes out her Adamantium gloves and smacks Vel’s jaw. Next she throws some pellets containing acid at Anthony it started melting his armor.

“Not again! My armor! Damn it!"

She looks over at me in fightin' stance. I smile. “Yeah I ain't gonna fall for that Cassie baby."

“What did you ... call me?" She asks.

"Cassandra that's your name girl. And I know David Cain didn't teach ya how ta study tour opponents before fightin' em then usin' gadgets. Nope that was a guy wit' a bat fetish."

Vincent beats the Hell put of some big shark man, and flies towards Cass. “You may have hurt my friends babe but you're not beating me wait your scent..."

They stare at each other. “Hnh. You're ... cuter than your... picture."

"Yeah let me guess you're ugly under that mask aren't you... whoa deja vu!" Vince looks shocked " I ... We have done this before." She was about to jump him when I use that bit of distraction ta throw a net on her. Oh and I take off her mask.



Vince smirks “Hello beautiful... Wait Cass?"

She punches him in the groin with that glove. She then cuts through the net, and runs off. Vince moaning "Cass come back."

Later at home we're all yelled at by Oracle. “Yeah you didn't do all that well either." I sneer.

This gets me cussed out ... I just run away I mean I don't have ta listen to some reality transplant who should be in a clocktower in Platinum Flats right now.

I catch Vince trying to do something floating over the city. “I’m trying to find Cass if that’s what you're going to ask if I try hard enough I can find her ki."

“So ya remember her huh?" I state.

“Yes... Tell me something Thad what the hell happened to the Universe I know she wouldn't want to be a villain."


All the sudden all this weird yellow smoke wafts around us. "That my young friends is the Question."


Oh of course something weird happens, and Vic Sage comes running like a moth to a flame. I really shouldn't be surprised.


TBC

1 comment:

Jean-Luc Picard said...

When timelines go awry, everything is out of sync.