Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Inertia: Stupid Titans
Now this is just great. After breaking up with Sun Girl who oh yeah just recently tried to get me into to some dumb Anti hero team lead by Deathstroke of all people.
No thanks I've had enough of Slade to last two lifetimes. Oh, and my ex runs around nude on the team yeah not wanting to go into that. Then I finally figure out Vella’s not going to work since there's a saiyan Prince in my time that looks like Jason Todd with spiky hair.
So I find myself a nice clone girl, well I guess technically she's not a clone, since she looks like this.
And the person she's gotten her DNA from looks like ...
Something's off on that story. Any way I actually impressed her with a date, and then this loser shows up.
Now at first thought it was Vampirella's adopted loser kid, but no it’s the Teen Titan's favorite place holder until somebody cool comes along Kid Devil. Or Red Devil, and he's ranting that I stole his girl.
Laura looks like she has no idea what he's babbling about.
“So I slam into the freak, at mach 2 " Hey maybe she just forgot about you, you're one of the most forgettable Titans after all."
He recovers from the punches, and shoots fire from his mouth, “You freak! You did something to her mind brainwashed her."
I easily dodge the flames. “Sorry I don't need to brainwash the ladies. That's more a thing for some one who looks like well... you! Well that and you have extremely bad breathe! Phew!"
I try to slam him with a hundred super speed punches but he opens some kind of portal, and jumps in. I didn't know he could do that! He appears behind me, and knocks me down. With a super strong fist to the head.
" Undo what you've done villain or you'll burn in Hades" he demands. I almost laugh at that corny line.
Laura springs on Devil boy, and claws at his chest. "Leave him alone!" great saved by a girl, that'll help my rep, oh well at least she's a superhero. While he's grasping his chest, and whining " Why? Laura Why?" I hit him with those hundred punches I wanted to sproking land before.
As he's falls out I ask Laura what was that all about? She falls into Wolverine speak as she sometimes does.
“I ain't got no clue darlin' ".
At this pint I was thinking of leaving hanging off a flagpole on by his under wear when The Teen Titans show up. Apparently from their chatter with each other Miss Martian Kid Devil get knocked out with her telepathy.
KD apparently recovers enough to babble his crazy theory that I somehow brainwashed X-23. So they trip over each other trying to capture me .Laura takes a flask out of her pocket along with a lighter, spits whatever the liquid is into the small flame, causing an a big fire ball to hit Miss Martian, well one down.
" Wonder Girl orders " take down lil' miss Wolverine too!"
I knockout Bombshell while dodging Static’s blasts I could either run or defeat most of these losers with my speed, except for the guy I was cloned from Kid Flash. we're exactly as fast well he may be a bit slower from his bun knee, but still he's fast enough to stop me from taking down another Titan.
" WHYAREYOUBEINGEVILAGAIN?" Bart speed talks
"SINCEWHENISITACRIMETOWANTALITTLEFEAMALECOMPAIONSHIP?SHE'SWITHMEOFHEROWNFREEWILL." I putter only one thing to do now get beat up by Bart slowing me down long enough for that meat head Superboy to take me down or call in Legacy. I choose the latter.
I distracted The Titans for a until my guys go there. And I hoped beyond hope that someone other than Spoiler got the SOS she's been well dumb lately. I lost it it when Superboy grabbed on to Laura, putting her in a bear hug.
I race at the Kryptonian clone and I'm caught by his damn Tactile Telekinesis. Right before I'm punched by Wonder Girl a blast knocks down Superboy, and dodge just in time then a big green wall appears between us, and the Teen Titans.
Legacy finally shows up. And then the bickering starts between the two teams. . Wonder Girl bitching, at Vella for sleeping with Superdork, Ironlad actually making a joke. " Don't you Titans have some crisis where half your team dies to go to? Or are you all going to whine for half an hour about how tough it is too have super powers?"
Vella says something about how Wondergirl would feel how it'd be like to fight her when she's actually fighting or something.
Skaar growls “Can we stop talking, and kill them now?" I'm starting to like the big green monster. Supergirl Stands between us both “Okay let's stop with the fighting, and until we know what this is is about."
Spoiler who's all the sudden dressed in a weird Batgirl costume pipes in.
“Yes Norman Osborn is in jail, Captain America runs SHIELD, and this is a good time to be a superhero, so let’s not ruin that by fighting each other. Blah blah blah... “Okay I tuned out she was boring I see why Drake dumped her now.
Kid Devil sobbed out his little paranoid idea now. Miss Martian looks at Laura, and does her mind mumbo jumbo. “She’s not being controlled but she does seem to be missing memories..."
“Oh yes... That well I was shot in the head a while back." She shrugs before lighting up a cigarette. “Nothing important was lost."
“You don't remember our whole relation ship!' Kid Devil whines. He then rubs her face" but maybe we can get reaquainted."
She punches him in the balls. “Next time ya touch me I use these " SNIKT! Logan's either a really bad influence, or it's genetic she's going to be wearing cowboy hats next I just know it.
Maybe that's not a bad thing. Any way the Titans start to leave carrying the wounded Kid Devil off Wonder Girl just has to let off one last snide comment. “You know Cassandra, If you weren't Tim's little sister I would have put your crazy, ass down with the rest of your band of misfits."
" Um... Cassie... Someone with Uh... two personalities shouldn't be calling ... me crazy... I was drugged ... by Deathstroke... for ... my evil time... what's your excuse for your.. bitchy ... time?"
Zinged by Batgirl wow! The Titans leave, and then Spoiler says. "Hey is that the X- mansion over there? SQUUUE OH man Wolverine is probably there I'm so gonna hit on him!"
Oh great she's a fan girl , that just pisses off Laura who chases after Spoiler and is probably going to kill her I guess it's too bad Steph has already reproduced so taking her out of the gene pool is useless.
I run up Laura to and I'm slapped away man she gets angry when some woman she doesn't like look at her "dad"
Vince shouts “Ha! Rejected!" Not in the mood for his friendly ribbing right now, at the moment Bart races up to me " Hey wanna race?"
“Sigh Why not? What I had planed for today was just shot." Worst date ever.
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